Those Overwhelming Moments
Be honest: have you ever felt like your to do list is so huge that you don’t even know where to start?
Have you felt like all you want to do is watch Netflix and do nothing else (except maybe eat chips while you do)? And have you ever felt like you just needed a Little. More. Energy. – so you could get it all done, and keep your butt moving?
When I decided to create this site I pledged to keep things as real as I could. So with that, I open this post up with a confession, or just a reality check I suppose, that things are not always as they seem with me.
I will allow myself to get vulnerable here.
If you know me, you know I love to get out there – and to celebrate what I’m doing with the many people I know on social media.
I’m for sure one of those over sharers. In fact, I think this post is going to be an over share…
On the surface, things look pretty good.
But the truth is, I’ve been having a hard time lately. I’ve been feeling pretty low since last summer, with no apparent good reason, considering that my life is going pretty well. I have a great husband, who is very supportive to me, and we run a growing business together. I’ve got a challenging, but wonderful, son; and as of last winter I have a new grandson from my stepson, who also married a beautiful person. So my family is solid, wonderful, and loving.
Our business is burgeoning – it is a demanding beast that requires a ton of attention, and overall is going well. (Knock wood.) Luckily we have wonderful clients that trust us to do good work for them.
There are daily challenges to support our young, talented, but somewhat inexperienced team. They are smart, and learning quickly, but it takes time for people to learn about our client base. I have deep admiration for anyone who has ever taught me anything.
Everything that happens at our company has my input & thumbprint on it, so it can be quite draining for me, to give everybody my attention all the time.
The business environment for the services we offer is competitive, although the mantra I have is to collaborate, not compete. Also, the shrinking & changing media market also creates its challenges for finding the right channel for us to put our clients’ stories in front of. This weighs heavily on me daily. We need to constantly be on our toes to keep on top of the industry’s movement, and this can also sometimes be daunting.
On the flip side of all this pressure, I have a lot of people that I can interact with socially, and a lot of people who I know do appreciate and love me.
Despite all this, however, I have been feeling like my ‘get up and go’ got up and went. I have the Blerch
(The Blerch is the imaginary cherub who The Oatmeal author Matthew Inman personifies as that inner voice that is demotivating.)
On feeling the Blerch and NEST-S…
The challenges of running our business with some people who require a lot of hold handing / training and attention on a daily basis, combined with a son with ADHD who can be very oppositional and tough to parent (needing a lot of attention to help him with his executive function), plus the volunteer work I do on weekends… all in it can leave me feeling spread pretty thin and depleted.
Typically I would jump up and go for a run and get some endorphins, a hit of dopamine, and be able to hit this all feeling quite great, but I have not. felt. like. doing. anything. I am just tired and unmotivated.
I haven’t felt like getting off of my ass in months, and now it’s showing. I’ve put on weight, and I’m not feeling great about the physical fitness level that I’m currently at.
Intellectually, I know what needs to be done; it’s not rocket science: get up, move around, feel good; and burn off what you eat.
This is so much easier said than done when it comes to me. I think everything has accumulated to the point of making me feel so overwhelmed that I’m just paralyzed.
After giving everything I have all day to everyone, all I want to do at the end of the day, is just sit down, and do nothing. Any calories at the end of the day just stick.
This has a side effect of making me not feel great about myself; so then I beat myself up again with negative self-talk and start feeling even more black and blue than I felt to begin with. It is an ugly cycle.
So recognizing that I’m stuck, I finally went to my doctor.
Without going into all the boring detail the result of the visit is my doctor screened me for depression. He says doesn’t believe that I am depressed, but he does state that he thinks I am stressed. I had some blood tests done, and he also gave me some instruction.
So I have been prescribed NEST. Actually, it is NEST-S.
I don’t know how long this is been around as a buzzword / acronym for mental health care, or if any of you have heard of it before, but what my doctor shared is that it stands for:
N = Nutrition
E = Exercise
S = Sleep
T = Time to myself
And the plural
S = support & social time.
So, I’m to follow this, and also start keeping a food journal. Overall, I think it means to get thoughtful.
But now it’s doctor prescribed, and it’s on me.
I need to go get it.
Beautiful and insightful- just like you.
thank you so much for reading and your kind loving comments, Christine. xo
Such a thoughtful and heartfelt post. I admire your ability to be vulnerable and at the same time admire your ability to give out so much energy to so many. I think the key is T! Tons of T time for you. Make a cup of T and take some T . You deserve it and need it.
Marcy, thank you so much for reading and for your kind comment. It was a bit scary for me to publish it, I admit. Much love and hugs to you.
I read the first sentence and laughed out loud. Were you reading my mind? And then all the rest rang true as well. For some reason, this winter, or about 6 months or so have been weird, not normal. I just felt like hibernating. I have become a master procrastinator. I have become highly skilled at sitting on my butt and finding all sorts of distraction to keep me from getting anything done.
I hear ya.
And you’re right. It isn’t rocket science, “Just do it!” On sunny days I usually feel more energy and things get done. I’m not depressed or feeling down and I am at a point where I’m not caring for family or worrying about making ends meet. I’m just surprised at myself.
The only pressure I have is the pressure I put on myself.
With the weather getting better I am getting outside for exercise more and the sunshine helps.
I’d like to stress the importance of the first ‘S’ sleep. Sleep is crucial and few people get enough.
I am also working on reminding myself to do less, not volunteer to do so many things. Over and over.
I am also convinced that days are not nearly as long as they used to be.
Thank you Sam for taking the time to share so personally. I understand that I am not alone in this challenge I am facing. I AGREE this long winter has not helped. Please take care of yourself.
Expressing yourself and exposing vulnerabilities on a blog is always a big leap, but you did it! I wish you the best on all your next steps and NEST-S’ings 🙂
Hanson, I was a bit nervous to publish such a personal post, but in doing so I sure know that I am not alone. Thank you for your support!
I’ve been feeling similar without nearly as many stressors in my life and probably a lot more pounds. Thank you for sharing.
Becca, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I appreciate your support!
I’ll admit that I have not heard of the NEST-S acronym before, but I think it’s a wonderful approach. As always, your ability to inspire is amazing. Thank you for sharing. Proud of you.
thank you for reading and your words of support, Suj. xo
Always a leader, even in your pain. So glad you’ve got a strategy and are candid in sharing. It’s okay to go dormant for a time. What would spring be without Nature taking a rest?
As has been noted previously, this long winter has taken a toll on many! Sending positive vibes.
Thank you so much for your caring comment and for taking the time to read. xox
Leeann…your honesty and vulnerability is just part of what I love about you. This winter/non-spring has been a real ass kicker. As is your style, you will persevere and find a way out…you’ll be even better on the other side. BUT if you need a shove, a glass of wine, a cup of tea or someone to call every morning and remind you of your awesome – I am your girl, just say the word. xo
Thank you so much Angie – I so look up to you and appreciate your comments and love. xox
Wow, Leeann. You are one amazing young woman and I’ve no doubt you’ll get through this better than ever. I’ve been on this earth a few more years than you, but find myself feeling the same helplessness/hopelessness/guilt right around this time of year, and I don’t have one-tenth the stressors you do. For myself, I know it will lift once the sun comes back.
Your doc’s prescription is right on, too and I would add one more line: Just say no. It’s something we women especially need to learn. Sometimes we’re too good at doing good.
Thanks so much for sharing! xo
Renee, thank you for taking the time to share your own challenges and for your endless support. I appreciate you. xo
Leanne, Power-filled post here. Self-care is the basis for ease and optimum performance, period. The commitment to place self first and are for self has a stigma which is completely ass-backwards! I have a program called StressLess 40 – 40 days. It’s based on my training in Jack Canfield’s principles. I want to gift it to you. So, email me! It’s all about getting unmet needs met that are the seeds of possibilities. Inspiring post!
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, and for that generous offer, Christine!